Be brave and get what you need don’t worry about what others might think. Take a risk, go to a class to learn how not to be shy and connect to others. Tell. Roll over on, show, even by a toy or two, but clue lovers into what you might need in bed if you’re not getting it.
One can stay frustrated and resentful a very long time indeed.
Take the plunge and go to a sex therapist if fears are really shutting you down. Ironically it is even harder for people to let their partner know what they need to reach orgasm . People carry shame about their bodies deep and heavy so to risk being shamed again can be impossible for some. Hence the woman that you date that suddenly in a fit of tears confesses that she has never had an orgasm…don’t freak out or take it on. You are fine. Just be there and say thank you to her for being so brave. Do not come up with an action plan just support her in coming forward on her own. Or the man that was shamed so badly about his wonderful penis that he wears his shorts to bed even when you plan to make love. Be gentle do not slip into nagging him. Offer opportunities and soft compliments and if they are rebuffed do not push it. When the day comes that he comes to bed with you in the buff still be mellow. If the sight of him makes you want to squeal don’t save it for when he feels comfortable enough to receive your outward excitement. The point is we all have our baggage circling round the carousel of life. It not enough to be willing to communicate we also need to listen to each other and be gentle, take our time and show a little extra care where we think it might be needed. Orgasm, erotic feelings, even good talking comes from caring about our lover’s feelings as much or even more so then out own.