Every loving relationship goes through ebbs and flows. The longer a couple is together the more chance there is for the drama of highs and lows, of one partner feeling exactly as the other feels at exactly the same time. Feelings of self doubt creep in, partners question their individual self worth, look for affirmation, regret recriminations, often do damage to one another, their budding or long-term relationship, and even to themselves, through what is a natural result of human hearts and minds not always being in sync.

This can gnaw away at even the healthiest couples and ruin sex lives. One partner might even seek the attentions of another or develop a porn addiction, feeling they are neglected, when all that is happening is that a love life is seeing a slump. Yet other men or women will come to see their fears realized as they begin to doubt whether they are worthy of their partner or not.

There is no simple deep breathing exercise, no checking with reality when one is stuck in the un-reality of love, libido and relationship building. It is also abundantly clear to each partner that one or the other holds the upper hand in specific periods of the relationship. One might simply be more intrinsically attractive to the outside world than the other. Another might make more money at their job, yet the other might have suffered through schooling longer to come out the better read. Equality does not exist in any meeting of two people and this difference, while benign most times, can rear its head during a couple’’s more arduous times.
But if a man or woman, or two men in a gay relationship or even lesbians can recognize that things will never be truly equal, that there is no way two people can feel exactly the same way at exactly the same time all the time, then they can weather the storms of inequality. They will see past the doubts about their love and sexual prowess, their importance to their partner, and their own self worth.

They will take that much needed big breath and realize that to grow in intimacy one must recognize that the intimacy will never be equal, solid and perfectly on course one hundred percent of the time… – it can only be real.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 30th, 2011 at 10:40 am and is filed under Sex, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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