Dirty old men. Sometimes they are fucking younger woman in free porn, sometimes they’re literary geniuses and sometimes they’re just dudes on benches ogling skirts.
Since I’ve seen enough wrinkly-balled men in my lifetime to make me never want to watch porn ever again, how about we talk about the wrinkly-balled men that also happen to be literary geniuses.
1. Charles Bukowski
The original dirty old man. He even actually wrote a book called, “Confessions of a Dirty Old Man.” Favorite Bukowski quote: “You boys can keep your virgins. Give me hot old women in high heels with asses that forgot to get old.”
Yeah, man! He was dirty! It seems much more polite in Middle English, but if you full on translate The Canterbury Tales is all jokes about asses, secret fucking, farting and buggering. Best Canterbury quote: “And at the window out she putte hir hole,/ And Absolon, him fil no bet ne wers,/ But with his mouth he kiste hir naked ers.”
3. James Joyce
Had an obsession with his wife’s farts. Seriously. He may written Ulysses, but he wanted to jack off to the smell of a “wet windy fart.” True story.
4. Benjamin Franklin
Ok, he’s not only a literary dude, he did a lot of other shit, but he loved talking about fucking women. He even once penned an essay entitled, “In Praise of Older Women.” Granny porn, anyone?
5. Henry Miller
Exchanged 1500 letters with a Playboy bunny. Took erotic writer Anais Nin as a lover. Wrote Tropic of Cancer. Fave Miller quote: “Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnations. The other eight are unimportant.”