Coming Out Kinky

For a long time people who were gay or lesbian were the only once cornering the market on the coming out experience. As time moved on and particularly in the late 1980s and into the 1990s, movements for the bisexual and transgender communities began to blossom and educated people that sexuality and gender are even more complex. Bi and trans people face discrimination from all sides at times, and coming out as the B or the T in the LGBT rainbow is often more of a challenge than a queer person would imagine. Now others in the sexual awareness and freedom movements are wondering about their place at the table and if and how they should come out of their own closets.

Kinky is a term used to describe any sex that is not what kinky people call vanilla, that is, the regular, caressing, kissing, stimulating the genitals and cumming type of sex. Kinky sex can involve anything that is a particular fetish to the participant – He or she might have a penchant for high-heeled shoes, denim and leather, latex, or diapers. It might be an interest in Dominance and submission, spanking, humiliation, or rope bondage. Some enjoy age play, candle wax, or voyeurism.


Why come out kinky, you might ask? Isn’t this just the stuff a person would want to keep private in their own bedroom? Sometimes it does feel like that to an individual, in which case, coming out isn’t an issue. The problem in assuming that that is true for everyone is that sexuality doesn’t stop at the bedroom. People want to live freely throughout the day. For a gay person, that may mean posting a picture of the whole family on Facebook or taking a lover to a dance. For people into crossdressing, that may mean dressing in the way that they feel comfortable, whether or not it is in conjunction with sexual activity. Someone who is a Dominant or a submissive may feel that it is important to talk about the impact and personal importance of that way of being.
How someone has arrived at their preferences – nature, nurture, choice, or no choice, is immaterial. All of us have sexual preferences, and we all also have the right to talk about those feelings.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 9th, 2011 at 3:56 pm and is filed under BDSM, Bisexual, Bondage, Fetish, Lesbian, Sex toys. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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