Luxury Condoms

I like my condoms just as much as the next man, but luxury condoms? That’ s just stupid.

Yes, choice in condoms is incredibly important. I have my own preferred kind, size and brand, and so do most of my buddies – hell, the wrong condom can threaten my erection even when I’m about to fuck a hottie with the body of a porn star.

But I don’t really understand this trend – who needs a luxury condom? At first, I thought, okay, cool, maybe these things are coated with high tech luxury lube or have a rim of gold or are super extra safe. But no – they aren’t any of those things. In fact, the only difference seems to be the packaging.

The “Original Condom” comes in a sexy black box and costs a whopping twenty dollars for half a dozen. $20!!! The individual packets are black with gold writing. Basically, they look like an After Eight, except they aren’t as delicious. The Original Condom is from France, which I guess is kind of cool, but I’m not going to pay 20 bucks for six rubbers just to ensure that French hands are making the sheath around my cock. I’ll go with the Made In America, or even a Made in Canada, thank you very much.

The only cool thing about this condom is that it is environmentally friendly, somehow, supposedly. I’m not really sure how, and they don’t really explain how. So, yeah. There it is.

For any women out there who might be reading this, I have some advice: if you are about to fuck some dude and he pulls out one of these condoms, I’d advise you to run for the hills. Why? Because any dude who is packing these things is an insecure wanker with a small dick and a lot to prove. Trust me.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 18th, 2011 at 1:51 pm and is filed under Cock, Condoms, Cum, Fucking, Porn, Porn star, Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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