Celebrity Cock

Penises: boys like them. Women (some women, at least) seem to enjoy them in certain contexts. Celebrities have penises, too, and they are as important to them as they are to any of us mortal men.

How many celebrity penises have we seen in the past century or so? And when I say celebrity I don’t mean porn star. I mean a mainstream actor, rapper, novelist, poet or athlete that has immortalized his johnson through film or photograph. Who has dared to show us his manliness? I was very curious about this and actually spent my morning looking for photos of celebrity cocks; the results may be slim, but are highly amusing.

Let’s begin.

1. Steve McQueen

Steve McQueen whips out his cock at this river in order to take a piss. He looks so wonderfully happy with cock in hand, in wholesome grandpa cardigan and khaki pants. What was running through his mind at this very moment? Who took this picture? Why take this picture? Why let someone take this picture? Mr. McQueen, you are a great mystery but your cock is not.

2. Jake Gyllenhall

In his new movie, Love and Other Drugs, it would at first seem that we get to see all the glory that is Anne Hathaway naked – ample, creamy tits and ass – while being spared the manly nakedness that is Jake Gyllenhall. But this is maybe not so; a still from the movie with what looks like a blurry shot of Jake’s cock has been making the internet rounds. It’s either a cock of some folds in the bedsheets. No one is sure. What do you think? I say that’s a cock if I ever saw one.

3. Joe DiMaggio

Last but not least is the cock of baseball hero and fucker of the bombshell of all bombshells, Marilyn Monroe. There’s a full frontal nude photo of the baseball stud showering after a game that made up part of a collection assembled by Robert Flynn at the Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco. I can’t stop looking at it. That’s what pleased Marilyn Monroe?! That’s the magic you have to have between your legs to get the biggest sex symbol of all time?! I was expecting it to have some kind of magical powers or be covered in lucky charms or something. But fuck me, it’s just a normal cock. Wow. Damn. Joe must have had some sort of magical tongue.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 21st, 2010 at 12:16 pm and is filed under Boner, Celebrity, Cock, Fucking, Porn star, Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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