Christmas Porn, Starring Dirty Uncle Frosty

Christmas and sex go together like tinsel and the tree, rum and eggnog, cookies and milk. Don’t you realize that all our male Christmas heroes are just big penises in disguise? They’re all horny bastards, symbols of fucking, free porn waiting to happen. Oh! You don’t believe me, do you? You’re such a sentimental fool. I’ll prove it:

1. Frosty the Snowman

He’s got a carrot dick for a nose and a pair of beady black eyes. How is this not lecherous uncle Frosty? Come on, Frosty is just a dude with a orange cock on his face waiting to reach out and grab some passing ass with his branch hands. For fuck’s sake, he doesn’t even wear pants. And that’s a pimp hat if I ever saw one.

2. Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer

Rudolph has had his nose in some hot pussy. Or some hot ass. He lands on women’s roofs in the middle of the night with seven of his buddies and a big fat man in a red suit. Can you say GANG BANG?

3. The Grinch

Aka one sly perv. Um, he gets around by sliding along the ground. What do you think he’s down there for? He’s looking for a bit of under the skirt action. If he gets some, he might not be such a grumpy mofo – that’s something for you ladies to consider – you just might be able to save Christmas with your pussy.

4. The Three Wise Men

Ha! The three wise men – the three pimps is more like it. Who but a pimp carries myrrh, gold or frankincense? Come on! They were obviously just hoping to get it on with Mary. Too bad Joseph was all up in their faces and cock-blocked that shit.

5. Santa Claus

Saint Nick. The Fat Man. I don’t really have to explain this one, do I? Santa is the ultimate BDSM fantasy if I ever saw one. Big black boots. Big black belt. Sac full of toys. A list of naughty girls and boys. Oh yeah, that dude’s gonna punish you real good.

Be Sociable, Share!



This entry was posted on Sunday, December 12th, 2010 at 10:13 am and is filed under BDSM, Free porn, Free Sex, Pussy, Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Leave a Reply

*