The Dancefloor Boner

Mock me all you want, but there’s one thing you should know about your’s truly, there’s nothing I love more than to bust a move – aside from collecting free porn, of course. Orgasms aside, there is no better way to release pent up energy and let yourself go. However, dancing can sometimes involve a plus one, and when that happens, my moves can go anywhere from a running man dance-off to straight up bumping and grinding.

For those who have yet to familiarize themselves with the concept of dirty dancing, it basically consists of dry humping your partner to the beat of your song of choice. And I’m not talking about the kind of coupled dancing you had back in high school. I’m talking about the wild staff party in Dirty Dancing, or any reggaeton or R&B video for that matter. This type of dance is unapologetic, sweat-inducing, and if weren’t for the clothing and nearby strangers, you might as well be havingsex.

However, dirty dancing didn’t come without it’s problems. Despite loving nothing more than to have a sexy lady shaking her ass around my crotch, I quickly found myself losing control and allowing my blood flow to get the best of me. That’s right, I’m talking about a dancefloor boner, one of the most embarrassing moments you could ever experience in public (other than peeing your pants, but that’s the subject for another story).

Given that I’ve been cursed with more than than one instance of ‘dancefloor boner’, I decided to test out a few tricks for prevention. I started by wearing briefs instead of boxers – given the fact they are much more efficient in containing my eager package. I also made good use of the tuck rule, which consists of tucking your johnson behind your waistband. When all else failed, I resorted to using the “I need some fresh air” excuse. And if you’re a smoker, then your excuse is already all laid out for you.

If even despite your slick moves, you receive a curious look from your dancing partner after “something” pokes her on the back, your best bet is to be as honest as possible. Something along the lines of, “I’m sorry, this has never happened to me before, I guess you’re just a really good dancer” should suffice. She’ll take it a compliment, believe me. Just please don’t resort to being proud of it. Discretion is a good thing.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, December 9th, 2010 at 4:43 pm and is filed under Ass, Boner, Cock, Free porn, Porn, Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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