STI Test Vending Machines: Coming To A Club Near You

Picture this: You’re trying to chat up a hot blonde at the club when all of a sudden, nature calls and you wobble over to the washroom for a quick wee. Suddenly, you realize that this is no ordinary tinkle – a burning sensation creeps in and you start to panic. “What the hell is wrong with my dick?”, you ponder as you twiddle your thumbs and pretend like nothing is wrong. Luckily for you, this particular establishment sells STI test chips. For only $1.60, you discreetly pick one up at the vending machine and head back to the bathroom for a quick piss test. Upon inserting the chip back into your smart phone you realize the worst has happened – you have gonorrhea. Shit. Looks like someone won’t be having sex tonight!

Although this may sound like something out of a bizarre sci-fi movie, Brits could be having access to this handy service a lot sooner than expected. As a collaboration between medical and technology experts, these micro USB sticks were developed in order to provide users with fast and easy diagnoses for a variety of different STI’s. Seen as one of the best strategies for prevention, the UK is now investing a good amount of money into lowering their sudden alarming rates of STI’s amongst their youth.

Featuring both nanotechnology and microfluidics – whatever they are – the chips are expected to be sold anywhere from supermarkets to bar and drug stores. Although we have depicted the ridiculous bar scenario earlier on, it still makes one wonder why someone wouldn’t simply wait to get tested in the comfort of their own home. After all, lining up for the STI test vending machine would be humiliating, to say the very least. Why come to terms with an unfortunate case of Chlamydia while shaking your groove ‘thang’ in the club? Talk about a buzzkill.

All jokes aside, this new testing method could prove to be an invaluable source for receiving an early diagnosis. Too many people are still hesitant to see a doctor when faced with the possibility of an STI – so allowing people to test themselves (and their partners) sounds like a pretty good idea to me. And if all goes wrong, there is always free porn to keep you entertained.

Be Sociable, Share!

This entry was posted on Friday, November 12th, 2010 at 11:50 am and is filed under Cock, Free porn, Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

4 Responses to “STI Test Vending Machines: Coming To A Club Near You”

  1. web cam girl Says:

    I enjoyed reading your post!

  2. Rosette Feldner Says:

    Entertaining as usual, thanks guys!

  3. Dion Malak Says:

    OMG Sick!

  4. Malcom Wernsman Says:

    Woe, what is that metal thing that she’s using on his dick? Looks frightening!

Leave a Reply