Straight To The Ass – A Geek’s Guide To Anal Sex

Taboo, tight and tricky to talk your girlfriend into, anal sex is one of life’s rich pleasures. If you’ve never had the opportunity to fuck your girlfriend in the ass and are wondering if anal is all it’s cracked out to be, don’t despair – it’s better. An ass isn’t just a clenched fist – it’s a tactile experience that you cock will crave fortnightly once you’ve pounded a grapesquinter or two – so what are you waiting for, read on to discover the sure fire ways to make your girl into an anal addict.

We like to recommend that anal amateurs begin with a finger – the pinkie to start before working their way up. Don’t just walk up to your girlfriend and thrust your pinkie up her ass though, play with her ass a little bit when you’re going down on her to warm her up first. If you’re down for it, give her a rim job too – there’s nothing wrong with tasting a little chocolate before sticking your candy cane in your girl’s gingerbread house. We suggest a counterclockwise motion – you don’t want to make her seasick and have her shit on your face.

Once you’ve tested the waters so to speak, you can get a little more daring. Try some lube one night while you’re fingering you lady’s fuckbox and then lube up her sphincter and stretch it with your fingers. If she moans, you’re good to go – so get ready to stick her with your shaft and make her walk like a pirate with pegleg cut an inch too short. You might want her to wear an eye patch too, because first time anal is an exciting prospect and you wouldn’t want to take her eye out with your load. Now, her transformation is nearly complete – all you need is a parrot, and really, you only need the parrot to congratulate you for a job well done so train it in advance. “*Reaw* way to pound her poopdam General Cum-stured!” Exeunt.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, November 4th, 2010 at 12:15 pm and is filed under Anal sex, Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

One Response to “Straight To The Ass – A Geek’s Guide To Anal Sex”

  1. uniline365 Says:

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