The Top 5 Non-Medical Reasons As To Why You Can’t Get It Up

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you simply can’t get it up. Much like a Queen’s Guard (those English soldiers with the silly hats), your girl can parade around it all she wants and it will just sit there without a flinch. When that happens, it’s important to have a damn good reason as why you’ve reached a state of ‘perma flaccid’. Here are just some of the excuses as to why the tent in your pants refuses to stay up.

1. “I Was Shit-Faced” – While drunken sex can be fun, being too drunk can be the leading cause of your flaccid state. If you don’t believe me, have two bottles of wine and tell me how you feel.

2. “I Didn’t Even Know Her” – If you meet a slutty girl at a bar who is ‘DTF’, that in itself could be the biggest turn off. While it may look enticing at first, having a drunken stranger sprawled all over your bed won’t look as promising as it once did – and your penis will be sure to let you know.

3. “I Had To Go To The Washroom” – Getting a blow job when you really want to take a piss can be tricky. At the same time, having to go ‘No.2’ while in the middle of foreplay won’t help you get an erection. When that happens, it’s best to simply take a quick bathroom break and get straight back into it.

4. “Porn Is Much Better” – For those who are used to watching free porn on a daily basis, real-life sex may start to look like a real dud. After all, how can you compare the skills and looks of a girl-next-door to a full-fledged porn star? If you can’t get it up because everything pales in comparison, consider going on a smut detox.

5. “I Was Distracted” – Whether it’s her dog constantly watching over you, or a funny scene on The Simpsons, distractions are all around us. If you have a hard time getting a boner when distracted, make sure to rid the room of anything that can steal your focus. Turn off the television, take the dog out and make your partner your number one concern.

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This entry was posted on Monday, October 25th, 2010 at 10:54 am and is filed under Blow job, Cock, Free porn, Free Sex, Porn star, Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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