Lululemon Pants: God’s Gift To Men Or Deceptive Harbingers Of Doom?

Lululemon pants have become the go-to sweat pant for women worldwide. However, what was designed as a sweat pant is now being used as the equivalent to a pair of jeans, and on any given day it seems that 1 out of every 2 women under the age of 50 are sporting lululemons in public. At first, our reaction to this was entirely positive – who would complain about women wearing skin tight sweats that so blatantly showed off their sexy asses and panty lines? Certainly not us!

But then a funny thing happened – men began dating these same women and noticed that the package they were unwrapping was more often than not highly inferior to what they had expected based on the ass that was presented to them in lululemon pants. Thus, the phenomena of the ass bra – a bane for men looking for single women to date everywhere. Clearly lululemon pants are designed to deceive and obfuscate the human eye, holding the female ass in a position it couldn’t normally achieve on its own. Correct that – couldn’t achieve without a seriously hot fitness nut working her ass off to get that kind of ass!

So what to do? We’ll admit that we enjoy the view in the mall these days when we see hundreds of women with bootyful round asses we’d like to fuck. However, we men need to stick together and fight the optical illusion these pants present! Not only that, but we need to recruit the women who don’t need lululemon’s help – after all, it’s them who are really suffering, as their rock-hard rears are no longer at the premium they once were. Why work out when lululemon will do all the work for you?

If we can urge you, dear reader, to do anything today, it’s to assume all women in lululemon pants of being guilty of having something to hide. Of course, that something is a saggy ass – no matter how damn find it looks in a set of lululemons. Only then will women stop cheating and start advertising their assets in a manner that benefits both sexes.

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This entry was posted on Sunday, October 24th, 2010 at 6:21 am and is filed under Dating, Fucking. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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