If You Knew Then What You Know Now

Have you ever bought about what sort of advice you would give yourself if you could go back and talk to your younger self? Here’s what we thought up:

Dear Young Me,

It looks like you are striking out with the girls. That blows. I remember exactly how much it sucked not to be able to get any. Unfortunately you are not going to get any pussy for a little while, but it’s ok, it’ll get better with time. The sad truth is that most of you and your teenage boy friends are pretty disgusting to your female counterparts. You may have noticed that the girls have matured faster than you have. You are more of a work in progress. You are probably aching to cop a feel, but you still look like a bit of a bald monkey.

But again, don’t worry, it will get so much better. The disgusting/repulsive phase of your life will fade. With the extra time you have to yourself now, stop worrying about getting laid or free porn, and start thinking about getting laid tomorrow (or more like in a year or so). Start working out in your parents garage or a local gym. Get a body that girls will want to touch rather than run away from. Read some books, newspapers, periodicals. Anything not about video games or free porn should be okay. This will help you come up with something interesting to talk about. The easiest way to get girls to be interested in you, is by being interesting.

Get extra-curricular. Go out and do stuff. Join a club or a team. Get into arts, or sports or politics or music. Or a combination of these. By doing this you’ll also get to meet different types of young women and a variety of settings. It will also help you grow comfortable doing this.

Another thing, get rid of that stupid haircut, take a shower every day, use antiperspirant, and make sure you floss and use mouthwash. Also keep in mind that wearing clean clothes is a major plus. Stop using the internet for porn for 5 minutes and look up stuff like sexually transmitted infections and birth control. Learn what you can about the female sexual reproductive system. This will help you out majorly when you need to find a clitoris or a g-spot under her covers.

And Finally, don’t jerk off so much. And switch things up. You don’t know this yet, but a pussy does not feel like your scrunched up fist. It also doesn’t have a mouth or anus or boobs or anything like that. If you change hands, change speeds, change your grip, you will learn to respond to a variety of types of stimulation when the girls start showing up. And you’ll learn to have more control over your orgasms; meaning, you won’t blow your load in 30 seconds‚Ķmaybe. Oh ya, and don’t keep facial tissues in your pockets, they get everywhere when you wash your clothes.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 20th, 2010 at 1:41 pm and is filed under Free porn, Fucking, Masturbation, Porn, Pussy, Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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