Vintage Sex Toys

While most people may think that the human mind has become progressively filthier throughout the years, a glimpse into sex products of the past suddenly puts it all in perspective – we’ve been horny perverts all along.

Here are some of the most bizarre sex-related vintage products that used to be on the market:

1. The Vibrating Horse – Disguised as a substitute for horse-riding; this 3-foot vibrator was essentially just that. Advertised as a tool for “invigorating the system” and as a cure for obesity and hysteria; what better way to lose the crazy than to hop on this ‘discrete’ machine? A few orgasms later and you were hysteria-free.

2. The Love Doll – For a mere $8.95, you too could have this “strong, lasting vinyl” Love Maid. The ad claims it “responds to your every touch” – though I’m, skeptical that this was just yet-another cheap, inflatable doll. For the weary, the Love Maid came with a free 10-day home trial; just in case she wasn’t your type.

3. Time To Fuck Watch – The slogan says it all: “Has an attractive woman ever asked you, “What time is it?” Why not give her a timely reminder…”. The premise behind this cheeky watch is the following; every thirty seconds, the phrase “TIME TO FUCK” will flash on the display as means of reminding you that, well, it’s time to fuck. So in case you forget, anytime is a good time to fuck.

4. Cordless Massager – Much like ‘The Vibrating Horse’, here is yet another product that is trying to come off as tame. This “face massager” looks like a vibrator and acts like a vibrator, therefore it must be a vibrator. No porn required.

5. Orgy Board Game – At the height of the swinging sixties, you too could purchase The Game of Orgy. Created for “people who love people”, the goal of the game was to use a contraption called the “Porron” to pour as much alcohol into your teammate’s mouth as possible (as he or she lied on the floor). As a reward, “Orgy in session and “optional rewards” plaques were handed out.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 5th, 2010 at 2:22 pm and is filed under Dildo, Fucking, Porn, Sex, Sex toys, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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