Inappropriate Children’s Toys

Forget about the days of My Little Pony and G.I. Joe; modern-day toys seem to be developed by total morons – or perhaps by people with a great sense of humor. In wake of the troubles being faced by Canadian retail company, Giant Tiger for advertising “junior” Playboy thongs in their back-to-school flyer; I felt compelled to find other politically incorrect products that are being marketed towards our youth. Here are some of my picks of children’s toys that should have never hit the shelves.

1. The Phallic Sled – This super discrete ride is really quite simple. Take a seat, wrap your hands around theā€¦err, shaft (read: cock), and slide down that bunny hill without a care in the world.

2. The Phallic Unicorn – Speaking of phallic sleds, enter the phallic unicorn. This pink and purple stuffed unicorn has a rather peculiar horn and front-facing “tail”. Why they chose to have a rounded top with a light pink “head” is beyond me.

3. Pole Dancer – The name says it all. This doll rotates around a pole and features blinking lights and a disco ball. The box claims she can go “up and down” and even “round and round”! A clever role-model for every little girl.

4. You Can Shave The Baby – Yes, that’s it’s official name. This rather odd looking doll comes with a bizarre amount of hair located in all the wrong places. Simply hand your child a razor and let the fun commence! Let’s just hope this doesn’t aspire kids to test this out on their younger siblings.

5. Water Wiennie – This phallic – again – water balloon is a great choice for summertime fun in the garden. According to the package “Water Winnie expands to giant super size for super water power!”. Oh my!

6. Pee & Poo – In case your kids forget what exactly comes out of them in the bathroom, Pee & Poo are here to give them a friendly reminder.

7. Bratz Dolls – Perhaps better known as Barbie’s slutty cousin, these dolls will teach your kids how to wear too much makeup and dress like a total tramp.

Who needs free porn and sex toys when you can get all you need at Toys R Us?

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This entry was posted on Thursday, September 30th, 2010 at 12:13 pm and is filed under Free porn, Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

One Response to “Inappropriate Children’s Toys”

  1. Meta Mcgready Says:

    Howdy! I know this is somewhat off topic but I was wondering if you knew where I could find a captcha plugin for my comment form? I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having difficulty finding one? Thanks a lot!

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