Top 5 Unrealistic Moments in Porn

Your first time watching porn was probably an unforgettable experience. Little did you know there was a world filled with all the filthy things that had existed in your head since puberty. Since then, it has become your go-to stress reliever and best friend in times of need. While it certainly looks thrilling, not everything you see in adult films can be translated into the real world. Sad, I know, but it’s just another one of those harsh realities we must all come across at some point. So here are our  ‘Top 5 Unrealistic Porn Moments’:

1. Intricate Positions: Sure, the reverse-cowgirl can look appealing and the blonde porn star with big tits certainly seems to be enjoying it; but attempting to pull it off at home can be a different story. Suddenly it’s less fucking and more cramping.

2. Endless Stamina: Male porn stars seem to go for hours (though that is probably due to Viagra, not stamina). Even if they can’t get it up, their female counterparts will be happy to wait around until they do. It’s their job, after all. Back in the real world, you might find yourself flaccid – after one too many beers – and your partner rolling her eyes in disappointment.

3. No Condom Breaks: When a male porn star actually wears a condom (because 9 times out of 10 they don’t), they just seem to magically pop up onto their dicks, ready to go. In real life, we have to endure the dreaded and awkward condom break. Not only is it unpleasant, but could kill the mood if not done quickly enough.

4. Super Sex Sounds: Porn stars can fake a moan like it’s nobody’s business. In fact, the first thing you do when watching free porn is to turn the volume down or plug in your headphones. While porn can be all about bad dialogue and screaming, real sex involves a much broader variety in sounds. Between all of the slapping, sucking and flapping around; it’s usually best to just put on some music or turn up the television.

5. Cheesy Dialogue: Lines such as “I heard someone ordered a big sausage pizza” or “That’s a BIG tongue depressor, Doctor!” won’t fly in real life. Unless you’re looking for some laughs.

Be Sociable, Share!



This entry was posted on Monday, September 20th, 2010 at 1:49 pm and is filed under Boner, Free porn, Free Sex, Fucking, Porn, Porn star, Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

2 Responses to “Top 5 Unrealistic Moments in Porn”

  1. weighty Says:

    gonna send this to my mom

  2. mmm insurance Says:

    Jeri FAIL??

    -Kindest regards
    Errol

Leave a Reply

*