Why Kim Kardashian Would Make a Terrible Wife

Kim Kardashian is one of the sexiest celebrities of the moment. Not only is she incredibly hot, but she’s also filthy rich, most recently shelling out $25,000 in damages to her Bentley convertible. Though she may seem like the perfect trophy wife, chances are Kim will remain single forever. Let’s take a look at some of her breaking points.

1. Her Sex Tape: The problem here is not the sex tape itself. It’s the fact the she fucked and trusted some douche called “Ray-J” – puke. If I were to actually date Kim, the thought of any random guy being able to pull up a video of her screwing “Ray J” would make my brain explode. Sex tapes are all fun and games until your girlfriend is the star and you can pull her her up from just about any free porn website.

2. Her Athlete Fetish: When it comes to trust and commitment, professional athletes aren’t exactly on top of their game (queuing Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant, Wayne Rooney etc. etc. etc.). After being on and off with Reggie Bush, Kim has now moved on to Miles Austin. If she is stupid enough to trust that any of these guys will bring her a solid, family-oriented lifestyle, then she is too dumb to be my girlfriend.

3. Her Mother: If for whatever reason you have sat down to watch an episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, you’ll know just how bad Kim’s mother really is. She is loud, obnoxious and tries to act like a hip 20-something at all times – a true pain the ass if you ask me. If this offers any type of insight as to what Kim will be like as a mother, I want out.

4. Her Family: If her mother is not a warning in itself, let’s take a look at her family, shall we? In a nutshell, they are all bat-shit crazy. Unless you want her entire family all up in your business; then run for the hills. Between the now-senile Kris Jenner and what seems like hundreds of other family members, Kim Kardashain will suddenly look a lot less attractive.

5. Her Many Businesses: We can’t deny Kim’s abilities as an entrepreneur. Along with her sisters (because that family is never, ever apart), she owns a chain of boutiques, a clothing line, perfume, jewelry and about a dozen of other endorsements for other companies. Unless you’re just as rich as she is, having Kim as a wife would make you look like a mediocre twat.

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This entry was posted on Friday, September 17th, 2010 at 1:50 pm and is filed under Celebrity, Fashion, Free porn, Fucking, Sex tape. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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