Write Poetry Like a Porn Star: A How To Guide

poetry 1There’s a fine line between romance and fucking like a porn star. Sure, Lexington Steele has a big dick, but it’s no accident that he gets to use it regularly – he’s also a master of the finer points of seduction. If you don’t believe me, try whipping your cock out in public sometime and see how many women it attracts. I’d wager good money that nearly all of the women you’d actually want to fuck would flee in horror. So what’s the secret to having a hot whore unbutton your pants and liking what she sees?

Women are turned on by words. Words are sexy – they show a man is intelligent and confident enough to reveal another side of himself in the bedroom. A prime example is Ted Hughes, former British Poet Laureate – a notorious playboy, two of his wives killed themselves after he left them. Clearly, he was irresistible – a big cock can be replaced, but the words of one of the greatest poets to ever live simply have no substitute. Of course, we’re not talking Hallmark here, we’re talking literature – and that’s where you should start.

poetry 2Forget what you know of traditional verse – Shakespeare is fine, but he rarely gets chicks to drop their panties and fuck like firebirds in free porn videos. Try something modern – perhaps Michael Ondaatje’s The Cinnamon Peeler or Philip Larkin’s High Windows and see how hot that gets your girl’s love tunnel. In fact, it never hurts to make a game out literary loving – try getting your lass to remove a piece of clothing every time Anne Sexton writes of “marrying the bed” in The Ballad of the Lonely Masturbator.

poetry 3Once you’ve mastered your literary approach, sex will never be the same again. Beware however, as your reputation grows you might find unwanted attention, so be picky. It’s awesome amateurs that fuck like porn stars that are the goal, not nasty whores who don’t even deserve a poem from Ben Stein. So remember, go forth and use the knowledge I’ve given you wisely, and let the force be with you!

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This entry was posted on Monday, August 9th, 2010 at 2:43 pm and is filed under Free porn, Free Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

6 Responses to “Write Poetry Like a Porn Star: A How To Guide”

  1. Electric Classical Guitar Says:

    LOL! You guys should tour together!

  2. article directory submit your Says:

    Roses are red my dick is too
    if you don’t fuck me now my dick will turn blue!

    BAM!

  3. Ella Nolin Says:

    I guess that’s why I never get pussy!

  4. what is mesothelioma Says:

    Nice poem! Or is it a rap? Great article by the way, gotta work on that I guess.

  5. tfetfymhum Says:

    Hit my dick with your shit
    let me suck that lovely clit
    show no mercy with your tit
    hit my dick with all that shit

  6. Scotty Austell Says:

    commentssss

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